


Love Story

by molstrom



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29552523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/molstrom/pseuds/molstrom
Summary: The story of how Jax and Tara became high school sweethearts...And how it all went wrong. Pre-Canon backstory.
Relationships: David Hale & Tara Knowles, Tara Knowles/Jax Teller
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. One

When I was nine, my mom died and my dad started drinking…a lot. I started looking for ways to be out of the house. Hanging out at the park or the library until dark, helping my neighbour David with his paper route, staying at friends’ houses longer than their parents would like, or just wandering the town. 

Dad had always collected and saved things, treasures and trash alike. When Mom was alive, she was able to hold his collections at bay, constantly throwing things away when he wasn’t looking and making sure our house still felt like a home, albeit a cluttered one. Without Mom, Dad’s compulsion became…overwhelming, until it felt like there was no room for me in the house anymore. Like I didn’t belong. 

Early one morning I’m at the playground near my house sitting on a swing debating whether or not to go home to get some sleep when Jax Teller starts walking towards me. When he gets close to me he smiles this irritatingly adorable crooked smile, his blue eyes sparkling, and says:  
“You’re always here or at the library. Do you ever go home?”  
I shrug as I say:  
“I try not to. My Dad doesn’t notice.”  
“You’re Hale’s neighbour, right?”  
“David? Yeah. Tara.”  
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Tara. I’m - -.”  
“Jax Teller. I know. Everybody knows.”  
He laughs and says:  
“Okay, darlin’. You’re a little snarky.”  
“Sorry. Not really used to human interaction outside of school anymore.”  
“Well, let’s fix that.”  
He holds his hand out to me and laughs when I just look at him and don’t take it.  
“Come on, Tara. I’m not gonna bite you.”

I stare at him for a minute and then sigh, shaking my head slightly as I stand up and take his hand.  
“Where are we going?”  
“Well, first we’re going to get you a coffee so you don’t fall asleep on me. Then we’re going to do something fun.”  
I raise an eyebrow at him and say:  
“Fun? Can you elaborate on that?”  
He smirks and says:  
“Nope. Part of the fun is the surprise.”  
“So I’m just supposed to trust you?”  
“Yup.”  
He starts walking and when I don’t follow he looks at me and rolls his eyes before saying:  
“Come on, Tara. I promise you’ll have fun.”  
“I am sure I’m going to regret this…fine. Lead the way, biker boy.”

When we get to his motorcycle he hands me his helmet and gets on, saying:  
“Get on.”  
“How long have you had your license?”  
“A few months, but I’ve been riding bikes my whole life.”  
“And how many accidents have you had?”  
“Tara. Get on the damn bike.”  
I put the helmet on and climb onto the bike behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

When we get to where we’re going, I realize it’s his house.  
“Didn’t you say we were getting coffee?”  
“Yeah. Mom makes the best coffee in town. Come on.”  
He holds out his hand to me and when I take it he interlaces our fingers and pulls me towards the house. We walk into a large kitchen/dining room area where his mom is sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee. When she looks up, Jax says:  
“Mom this is - -.”  
She puts her hand up and says:  
“Tara Knowles. I know, Jackson. How is your father, baby?”  
“I haven’t seen him in a few days, Mrs. Teller, but last I saw? Drunk. He was drunk.”  
“You haven’t been home in days? Where have you been?”  
I wave my hand and say:  
“Around.”  
“When is the last time you slept?”  
I shrug and she shakes her head, saying:  
“Jax, show Tara your room. Then come back out here. She’s going to have a nap while we handle some club business for Clay.”

Jax puts his hand on my back and leads me down the hallway to his room. As he opens the door I say:  
“She’s going to yell at my Dad, isn’t she?”  
“Yup. Tara, there’s nothing you can do to stop her now. Just go lie down. Sleep for a while. Everything will be fine.”  
“Yeah…okay.”  
He walks back down the hallway and I lie down on his bed and promptly fall asleep.

When he comes back into the room and gently shakes me awake, it’s dark outside.  
“Come on sleeping beauty. You need to eat something.”  
“I slept all day?”  
“Yup.”  
“What happened with my Dad?”  
“Clay and some of the guys had a chat with him about his drinking and the fact that he had no clue where his 14-year-old daughter had been for days.”  
“They didn’t hurt him, did they?”  
“No, darlin’. Just talked. While they were doing that, Mom cleaned your house.”  
I put my hands over my face and moan:  
“That’s so embarrassing. I can’t face her now.”  
He sighs and then pulls my hands off of my face before saying:  
“This wasn’t your fault, Tara. You are the kid. He is supposed to take care of you, not the other way around. Come have some dinner and then we’ll go do the fun activity I have planned.”  
“You don’t have to take me anywhere, Jax. You were just trying to be nice this morning and I derailed your whole day. I’ll just go home.”  
I sit up, preparing to get off the bed to leave the room, and he grabs me, putting his hands on my waist before he says:  
“Tara. I wasn’t just trying to be nice this morning.”  
“You weren’t?”  
“No. I wanted to spend time with you. I want to spend time with you.”  
“Why?”  
He laughs and says:  
“I have never seen anyone look so confused at the prospect of someone wanting to spend time with them.”  
I shrug and look anywhere but at him as I say:  
“I’ve been avoiding being home for a long time now. I…wore out my welcome with all of my friends except David ages ago. I’m pretty sure at this point, even David only spends time with me out of some sense of duty and not actual friendship.”  
“I doubt that’s true.”  
I raise an eyebrow at him and he laughs before shrugging and saying:  
“Okay. You might be right. But I want to spend time with you.”  
“Why?”  
“My Dad died last year. My brother died 3 years before that. I guess…I just want to be around someone who…understands.”  
He’s looking at me so intently like he desperately wants me to believe him. And I do, so I take a deep breath and say:  
“What’s for dinner?”  
“Steak, potatoes, vegetables.”  
My stomach growls just thinking about food and Jax laughs before he pulls me off the bed saying:  
“We should feed you before you decide to eat me.”  
“Possibly a good idea.”

We walk out of the bedroom and down the hall, finding his mom and step-dad already sitting at the table. As we sit down I say:  
“Thank you. For today. You didn’t have to get involved. You didn’t have to help me. I appreciate it.”  
Mrs. Teller shakes her head and says:  
“No child should be unwilling to go home. But, sweetheart, if the drinking doesn’t slow down or the collecting continues, you can’t just run away. You will need to take care of the house and yourself. You can’t depend on him.”  
I nod and say:  
“Yes, ma’am.”  
“No. Don’t call me ma’am. And no more of that Mrs. Teller nonsense either. It’s Gemma. And this is Clay. You don’t have to be formal with us, baby.”  
“Okay, Gemma.”  
“Good girl. Eat some dinner.”

After we’re done eating, Jax pulls me up from the table and pushes me towards the door. Before he pushes me all the way out, I manage to say:  
“Thank you for dinner, Gemma.”  
Once we’re outside he takes my hand and pulls me towards his bike, so I say:  
“What is your hurry?”  
“After dinner, they always get all lovey-dovey. Trust me, you don’t want to witness it.”  
“Alright. Where are we going?”  
“Nope. Still a surprise.”  
“You are infuriating.”  
“You’ll get used to it.”  
I put the helmet on and we both get on the bike. When he parks we’re at the mini-golf and arcade in Lodi.  
“Mini golf?”  
“It’s fun, Tara.”  
“Alright. If you think getting your butt kicked is fun, then I guess this’ll be fun for you.”  
“Cocky.”

We play a round of mini-golf, laughing and goofing around the whole time, and when we’re done, I’ve beat him.  
“Cocky, huh?”  
“You distracted me.”  
“Sore loser.”  
Once we hand in our clubs he wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head before saying:  
“I’ll beat you next time, darlin’. Don’t you worry.”  
“Oh? There’s going to be a next time?”  
“Oh yeah…You’re stuck with me, kid. Come on. I’ll take you home.”

When we get back to my house he gets off the bike and starts walking me towards the front door. I stop halfway there and say:  
“You don’t have to walk me to the door, Jax. Dad’s probably drunk. I’m fine.”  
“If you don’t want me to, I won’t, but I’m not leaving until you’re inside.”  
“I’m not leaving again, Jax.”  
“Uh-huh. Go inside, Tara. I’ll be here in the morning to pick you up for school.”  
“I can walk to school you know.”  
“I know. I don’t care.”  
“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning then. Goodnight, Jax.”  
“Goodnight, Tara.”

As I walk into the house, Dad says:  
“Tara Grace? Is that you?”  
“Who else would it be, Dad?”  
“Well, you sicced a bunch of bikers on me earlier, so who knows?”  
“Dad…”  
“I know you didn’t actually send them. The biker queen told me that you were asleep when she called them. You should shower and head to bed, kid. You have school in the morning.”  
“Yeah, okay Dad. Goodnight.”


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted at the same time as chapter one. Read that first.

The next morning I’m collecting my books when there’s a knock on the door. Dad answers it on his way out and says:  
“Tara, we are going to talk about this later. I don’t approve.”  
“I didn’t expect you would.”  
He leaves and Jax walks in saying:  
“What did I do?”  
“You mean besides breathing near his 14-year-old daughter? Nothing.”  
“How can I fix it?”  
“I’ll explain we’re just friends. He’ll be fine.”  
“Are we just friends?”  
“Well, I don’t really want a boyfriend, so…yes?”  
“Okay. You ready to go?”  
“Yeah.”  
We walk out of the house and to his bike. When we get there he hands me a helmet and says:  
“That’s yours.”  
“My very own helmet? I feel so special.”  
“You should. Get on the bike, Tara.”  
“You are super bossy. You know that?”  
“You’ll get used to it. Let’s go.”

When we get to school we separate and I don’t see him for the rest of the day. After my last class, I walk to my locker and find Jax leaning against it.   
“We should go bowling.”  
“Bowling, Jax?”  
“It’s fun.”  
“No. It’s not.”  
“I promise you, it’ll be fun.”  
“Can you move so I can get my stuff?”  
He moves one locker over and looks at me as I put my books in my backpack.  
“What’s going on, Tara?”  
“I’m just tired and I have a ton of homework. I’m just going to go home, okay?”  
“Yeah. Of course. You want a ride?”  
“Um…I think I’m going to walk. Thanks though.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah, Jax. It’s not far.”  
“Okay. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“Yup.”

As he walks away, David walks over from his locker across the hall.  
“You walking home?”  
“Yup.”  
“Want to walk together?”  
“Sure.”  
We walk out of the school and turn towards our houses before he says:  
“How much homework do you really have?”  
“None.”  
“So why’d you tell him you have tons?”  
“Because I just want to be friends, but I think he’s angling for boyfriend. We probably shouldn’t spend every day together.”  
“You also probably shouldn’t lie to him though, Tara. Just tell him the truth.”  
“Yeah. You’re probably right.”  
“You want to come over? Jacob made cookies. We can watch a movie.”  
“What homework do you need help on?”  
“I do not need homework help from a 14-year-old freshman.”  
“Uh-huh. What subject are you having trouble with, David?”  
“Biology.”  
“Yeah. I’ll come over. But I expect to actually get cookies.”  
“And get cookies you will. Double chocolate.”

By the time I get home from David’s, it’s dark outside and Dad is passed out on the couch, empty bottles sitting on the floor next to him. I cover him with a blanket, turn off the tv, and take the empties into the kitchen to throw away. Once I get into the kitchen I notice that Dad must have made himself something resembling dinner, because he’s made a mess of the kitchen. I clean up and then heat up some canned soup for my dinner. While I’m sitting at the kitchen table eating, the phone rings.  
“Hello?”  
“Tara? It’s Jax.”  
“Hey, Jax. What’s up?”  
“I called earlier, but no-one answered.”  
“Yeah, I was next door, helping David with his biology homework. I just got home.”  
“And your Dad?”  
“Passed out drunk on the couch.”  
“So the intervention didn’t work.”  
“I didn’t really expect it to. It was nice that they tried, though.”  
“You want some company? I don’t really want to be home.”  
“Sure. The door isn’t locked. Just come in when you get here.”

I finish eating and wash my dishes before heading to my room and laying on the bed with a book. I’m reading when I hear the front door open and close, so I say:  
“Down the hall, Jax.”  
When he walks in, he grins and takes off his shoes before climbing onto the bed and laying down next to me.  
“What are you reading?”  
“My Sweet Audrina. No judgement.”  
“How can I judge? I don’t even know what it’s about.”  
He pulls the book out of my hands, saving my spot as he flips it over to read the back.  
“You are too young to be reading this trash.”  
“But it’s so good. Give it back.”  
“And what am I supposed to do while you’re reading your seedy trash novel?”  
I pick up another book I have sitting on my bedside table and hand it to him.  
“Read a different book.”  
He picks up my bookmark off the bed and marks my place in my book before reaching over me and dropping both books onto the bedside table.  
“Or…neither of us could read.”  
“Well…if we’re not reading, what are we going to do?”  
He smirks and before he can speak I add:  
“Keep in mind that we are just friends. There will be no kissing or touching of any kind.”  
“So no tickling then?”  
“Jax, if you tickle me, I will kill you.”  
“See…I don’t think you will.”  
He reaches over and starts tickling my sides. I squeal and laugh and try to squirm away, but he’s holding me in place. When I can catch my breath a little, I say:  
“Enough. Jax. Stop.”

He stops and we both lie on our backs next to each other in silence for a while before he says:  
“I was almost happy when my brother died. He had been so sick for so long. He had taken all of Mom’s attention and energy so so long…I was happy he was gone. I was happy to have her all to myself. What the hell is wrong with me?”  
I turn my head to face him and put my hand on his cheek, turning his face towards me.  
“Nothing. You were a kid, Jax. It’s understandable that you were somewhat happy to have your mom all to yourself. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love your brother. It doesn’t mean you didn’t miss him.”  
“I was 12, Tara. It’s not like I was a little kid.”  
“You know what I would give for one more day, one more moment with my mom? I would give absolutely anything. Kids are biologically drawn to their moms. I mean, their dads too, but less so. We’re taught from birth that mom is who will take care of us. Even at 12, you need your mom. Being happy to have her to yourself doesn’t make you a bad person.”  
“You make a valid point, I just don’t know if I believe you.”  
“Well, you should. Because I’m right.”  
He chuckles softly and says:  
“Can I stay here tonight? Just to sleep. I won’t try anything.”  
“Yeah. Okay. I’m gonna go get changed.”

I leave the room and when I come back, I’m wearing pyjamas and Jax is asleep. I grab an extra quilt from my closet and drape it over the bed before lying down next to Jax and making sure we’re both under the blanket.

When I wake up in the morning there are piercing blue eyes staring at me and a hand running up my side. I mentally panic for a moment before I remember that Jax spent the night.  
“Morning, darlin’.”  
“How long were you watching me sleep?”  
“Few minutes.”  
“Has my alarm gone off?”  
“No. What time is it set for?”  
“7:30.”  
“It’s 5:30 now.”  
“Why the hell are you awake so early?”  
“I’m always awake early.”  
“I ask again…why?”  
“I like mornings.”  
“You’re a freak.”

I close my eyes and he says:  
“What are you doing?”  
“I’m going back to sleep. Go back to sleep, Jax.”  
“I can’t. I’m awake now.”  
I move closer to him and curl up against him, resting my head on his chest.  
“Just hold me and go back to sleep.”  
“You cuddle in bed with all your friends?”  
“No. But you’re warm and you make me feel safe. Just shut up and hold me.”

He wraps his arms around me, then sighs deeply.  
“What’s wrong, Jax?”  
“I should leave before the neighbours realize I spent the night.”  
“You worried about your reputation? Being seen coming out of the broken girl’s house?”  
“No, Tara. I’m worried about your reputation.”  
“I’m not. We’re just friends. We just slept. I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”  
“I understand that you aren’t worried, but darlin’, you’re only 14. I don’t want people saying things about you that aren’t true, because then I’m gonna have to beat the shit out of them and I’ll get suspended.”  
“Oh…So worrying about my reputation is really all about you.”

He laughs and says:  
“Of course.”  
“I don’t want you to go.”  
“Why?”  
“Being with you…It’s the first time I’ve felt safe…Since Mom died.”  
“I have very mixed emotions about that statement, Tara.”  
“I do too.”  
“I need to go, Tara. You know I need to go. Even if it’s just to go home and shower and change.”  
I sigh and roll onto my back before saying:  
“Fine. Will you come back and give me a ride to school?”

He rolls and props himself up on his elbow so he’s above me, putting his other hand on my cheek before saying:  
“Of course I will. Tara - -.”  
“We’re friends, Jax. Don’t.”  
He runs his thumb along my cheekbone and kisses my forehead before climbing over me to get out of bed. He puts his shoes on and says:  
“I’ll be back later to pick you up. Go back to sleep, Tara.”  
“Jax…”  
“We’re fine, Tara. Go back to sleep.”

I can’t get back to sleep after he leaves, so I get up and get ready for school before going to the living room and waking Dad up.   
“Dad, you have to get up and go to work.”  
“It’s morning?”  
“Yes, Dad.”  
“You had dinner last night?”  
“Yes. I also cleaned the kitchen, did my homework, took a shower, slept a full night, and had breakfast already. Now get up, shower and go to work.”  
“Are you coming home after school?”  
“I don’t know. Jax might have plans for us.”  
“What’s going on there, Tara?”  
“We’re friends, Dad.”  
“I don’t trust him.”  
“Well, I do. I feel safe with him.”  
“Fine. I will keep my mouth shut. For now. If you start dating him, I will have something to say about it.”  
“Yes, Dad.”

I grab my stuff and head outside to wait for Jax. I’m still leaning against the car when David leaves his house to go to school. He looks at me and tilts his head before saying:  
“If you don’t leave for school you’re going to be late, Tara.”  
“Jax said he was going to pick me up.”  
“It doesn’t seem like he’s coming. I’ll walk with you if you want.”  
“Yeah. Okay. Thanks, David.”  
We walk to school and separate in the parking lot. As I’m walking into the school I pass Jax leaning up against a locker, talking to a girl in his grade. I roll my eyes as I walk by and head to class. 

After my last class, I walk to my locker to get the rest of my books. While I’m getting my things together, Jax walks up and pokes me in the side.  
“Want to go play mini-golf?”  
“No. I don’t.”  
I slam my locker shut and walk away from him. Before I reach the end of the hall he grabs my wrist and says:  
“What’s wrong?”  
“You said you were going to pick me up this morning.”  
“I know. I forgot.”  
“No, you didn’t. You made a choice because you were pissed about me just wanting to be friends.”  
“That’s not- -.”  
He shakes his head and says:  
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”  
“Okay. Let go of me, please.”  
He lets go of my wrist and says:  
“Tara, let me at least take you home.”  
“I’d like to walk. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jax.”

I leave the school and walk home. When I get there, Dad is sitting on the couch with a beer. I put down my backpack and walk over to kiss Dad’s head before saying:  
“What do you want for dinner, Dad?”  
“Let’s just order pizza. Do you have homework or can you watch a movie with your old man?”  
“I have some homework. Should we watch a movie first?”  
“No. Do your homework. I’m only having this beer. I’ll order pizza in a bit.”  
“Okay.”  
I pick up my bag and head to my room. I spend an hour working on homework and am finishing when there’s a knock on the front door. I assume it’s the pizza, so I walk out to the living room. I get there in time to see Dad and Jax sit down on the couch.   
“Why are you here?”  
“I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight.”  
“I already told you no. I told you that I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
Dad clears his throat and says:  
“I think Jax should stay for dinner. I ordered the pizza already. Why don’t you pick a movie, sweetheart?”  
“Fine.”

I walk over to the shelf with the movies and pick an action movie I know Dad likes before turning around and saying:  
“I’m not sitting on the floor, guys.”  
Jax shifts over to the end of the couch and pats the cushion between him and Dad.  
“You can sit here. I won’t bite. I promise.”  
I put the movie in and hand Dad the TV and VCR remotes before sitting down next to Jax. I curl my legs under me and lean against him slightly before he wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me tight against his side. He whispers against my ear:  
“I’m sorry about this morning. Please forgive me.”  
I nod slightly and relax against him as Dad presses play on the movie. 

Once the movie is over and the pizza is gone Dad says:  
“Jax, I think it’s time for you to go home.”  
“Yes, sir. Tara, I’ll pick you up in the morning?”  
“Sure.”


	3. Three

For the next few months, Jax and I spend practically every day together. He picks me up in the morning and after school we go to one of our houses or to the park, to play mini-golf, or to go bowling. We spend many nights laying side-by-side on my bed or his, talking until early morning. One Saturday afternoon we’re at a park, lying on a blanket under a tree, him on his back and me on my side using his stomach as a pillow. We’re both reading and just enjoying the peace and quiet until he says:  
“Tara?”  
“Yes, Jax?”  
“You know we’re basically dating, right? I mean, we’re always together.”  
“So?”  
“So, maybe we should make it official?”  
“Why? What difference would that make?”  
“I just want to hear you say the words.”  
“What words?”  
“Jax, I’m your girlfriend.”  
“Hmm. But I’m not.”  
“Are you being difficult on purpose?”  
“No. It just comes naturally. If you want me to say that I’m your girlfriend, you need to ask me to be your girlfriend.”  
“I thought that’s what I was doing.”  
“Say the words, Jax.”  
“What words?”  
“Tara, will you be my girlfriend?”  
“You are a gigantic pain in the butt.”  
“And yet, you want to date me.”

He shakes his head and says:  
“You know what? I changed my mind. Let’s call it momentary insanity.”  
I shrug and go back to reading my book as I say:  
“Okay.”  
He scoffs and pulls my book out of my hands before saying:  
“Brat.”  
“I’m the brat? You just took my book!”  
I get up on my knees and am leaning over him, reaching for my book, when he wraps one of his arms around me and pulls me on top of him. I end up straddling him, still reaching for my book until he drops it and tangles his hand in my hair, pulling my face down to his. When he kisses me it’s soft and sweet, almost questioning. When we pull apart I sit up a bit and look at him as he says:  
“Be my girlfriend, Tara. Officially. Please.”  
I shrug and say:  
“I suppose.”  
“Wow, darlin’. Don’t sound so excited.”  
I smirk at him and say:  
“Well, as you said earlier, we were practically dating anyway. So what’s really going to change?”  
“More hand-holding, mostly. Oh, and this…”  
He pulls me back down to him, capturing my mouth with his. The kiss is more insistent this time, less questioning, and when I pull back he groans.  
“Jax…I’m not ready for more than kissing. I know - -.”  
“It’s okay, Tara. We’ll move at your speed.”  
“Will we? Because I seem to remember saying I didn’t want a boyfriend.”  
He smirks and shrugs as he says:  
“You changed your mind.”  
“Did I?”  
He laughs and says:  
“There’s that confused face again. Yeah, you did. What do you think? Should we stay here for a while longer or go find something else to do?”  
“Well, since you won’t just let me read in peace, let’s find something else to do.”  
“We could go to the clubhouse and play pool. It’s the middle of the day, so there shouldn’t be too much debauchery going on.”  
“That’s a very large word for you, Jax. Did you hurt yourself?”  
He laughs and says:  
“Rude.”  
I shrug and say:  
“Well, one of us is a straight-A student and the other will barely graduate.”  
He makes a face and moves me off of him before standing up.

I look at him and say:  
“Jax? What aren’t you telling me?”  
“I’m dropping out after this year. I’m not graduating high school.”  
“Why?”  
“I’m starting my prospect year.”  
I stand up and face him before saying:  
“What?! Have you lost your mind?”  
“Tara, all I have ever wanted is a Harley and a kutte.”  
“You have a Harley. Can’t you wait a year for the kutte? Why do you have to do it now? Why can’t you graduate first?”  
“Because I’m not going to graduate either way. I may as well get started on my prospect year now.”  
“Jax…that’s insane. We can make it so you graduate. You just need help. Why would you give up?”  
“Tara! Enough! I am dropping out. I am starting my prospect year. That’s it. There’s no discussion to be had here.”

I bend down to pick up my book and shove it in my purse before standing back up and saying:  
“You’re better than this. You are better than that club. You are better than this town.”  
“That club is my birthright.”  
“That club is an albatross around your neck. If you join, it’s just a matter of time before it kills you.”  
“That seems like it’s my choice to make, babe.”

I nod and shrug as I say:  
“You’re right. It’s your choice to make. You do whatever you want, Jax. I’m out of here when I graduate anyway.”  
“You don’t know that. You’re only 14.”  
“I have been planning my escape from this town since my mom died, Jax. I am leaving after graduation.”  
“I don’t think you will. I think you’ll decide to stay.”  
“I guess we’ll have to see about that. Can you take me home, please?”  
“We were going to go find something else to do.”  
“Jax…”  
“I know you’re pissed at me right now. Can we just go play pool? You can meet some of the guys. Maybe you’ll realize the club isn’t so bad.”  
“Jax…”  
“Please, Tara.”  
I sigh and say:  
“Fine. Let’s go play pool.”

When we get to Teller-Morrow there’s a familiar-looking teenager in the parking lot.  
“Didn’t Opie move away? I’m sure David said that Opie’s mom took him and left.”  
“Yeah. She did.”  
Jax takes my hand, interlacing our fingers as we walk towards the clubhouse and the group of guys standing around outside. When we get to the group and Opie looks at us, Jax lets go of my hand and hugs him.  
“What are you doing back? Didn’t Mary declare that you would never step foot in Charming again?”  
“Yeah. I left. Dropped out of school and came home. I’m gonna live with Pop. What’s this?”

I glare at him as he says that and he laughs before saying:  
“Breathe, little one. I didn’t mean to imply you were an object and not a person. I meant the hand-holding.”  
Jax laughs and says:  
“Ope, this is my girlfriend, Tara. Tara, this is my best friend Opie.”  
“It’s nice to meet you, Opie. Jax? I’m gonna go home, let you spend some time with Opie.”  
“I’ll give you a ride.”  
“Nah. I’ll walk. It’s not far.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah. I’m sure.”  
I kiss Jax’s cheek and walk away, heading to the street.


	4. Four

I don’t see Jax for a week after that. He doesn’t come to school or to my house, and when I call or go by his house he’s never home. One night I’m lying in bed reading when there’s a knock on the door. When I get up to answer it, I find Jax standing outside.  
“It’s late, Jax.”  
“You going to let me in, darlin’?”  
“You gonna disappear again?”  
“Ope and I were in a holding cell. Unser was trying to make a point.”  
“Oh, so the first of many arrests to come, I guess.”  
“Still upset about the club, huh?”  
“No. Just being snarky. Come in.”

He comes in and I close the door behind him.  
“What are you doing tonight?”  
“Reading.”  
“How convenient. I happened to bring a book with me.”  
“What? Don’t you like mine?”  
“No.”

I shake my head and walk to my room. We both lie down on my bed, staring at the ceiling.  
“What did you and Opie do?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Yeah, I’m sure Unser just locks people in cells for multiple days for absolutely no reason. Tell me.”  
“We got into a fight with a couple of drug dealers.”  
“Why?”  
“Club business.”  
“You aren’t in the club yet. You’re not even a prospect yet.”  
“Let it go.”  
“Fine. Do whatever you want.”  
“Tara, look at me.”

I roll onto my side to face him and say:  
“What, Jax?”  
He faces me and puts his hand on my cheek as he says:  
“I don’t want to fight with you. Can we just…agree to disagree about the club for now?”  
“I’m not going to change your mind about this, am I?”  
“No, Tara, you aren’t.”  
“You could come with me when I leave. We could have a life away from…this.”  
“Tara. I’m not going anywhere. I’m joining the club. I want you to stay.”  
“No. But we have years before I leave. So yeah, maybe we just…agree to disagree for now.”

He leans in and kisses me, pushing me onto my back as he moves above me. When he’s on top of me, pushing me into the mattress, he starts kissing along my jaw and down my neck.  
“Jax…Stop.”  
“Come on, Tara. I’m not going to hurt you.”  
“You promised we’d go at my speed. I’m not ready for this. Please stop.”  
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

He softly kisses me and then moves off of me, lying on the bed next to me and pulling me into his arms. We lie there quietly until I say:  
“I miss my mom. I don’t have anyone to talk to about…this.”  
“The sex thing?”  
“Yeah.”  
“You could talk to my mom.”  
“Well, that would be all kinds of awkward. No thank you.”  
He runs his fingers through my hair and says:  
“What do you want, sweetheart? Do you want to have sex with me?”  
I sigh and say:  
“Of course I do, but I’m scared.”  
“Of what?”  
“Not knowing what I’m doing…the pain. Everyone says it hurts.”  
“For starters, no-one knows what they’re doing at first. And from what I understand, it can hurt the first time, but I would be as gentle as I could be with you.”  
“How many - -?”  
“Do you really want to know?”  
“Yes.”  
“Ten.”  
“You’re only 16!”  
“What’s your point?”  
“I don’t know…Jax?”  
“Yeah?”  
“How many of those have been since we started hanging out?”  
“A couple…At the beginning. None since we started hanging out constantly.”  
I don’t say anything and he lets me lie there in silence for a minute before he says:  
“Tara? Talk to me, darlin’.”  
“I don’t know what to say.”  
“Say something.”  
“I need time to think about this. Can we just stop talking about it? Please?”  
“Yeah. Do you want to read?”  
“Can we just lie here?”  
“Can I spend the night?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Can I take off my jeans to sleep?”  
I look at him and roll my eyes before saying:  
“Yes, Jax.”  
He gets up and gets undressed as I climb under the blankets. When he climbs in with me he pulls me back into his arms and quietly says:  
“The drug dealer thing was my first official action as a prospect. I’m dropping out of school now.”  
“So what does that mean for us?”  
“Nothing, sweetheart. Prospects are hardly ever involved in anything dangerous. I’ll mostly just be at the clubhouse.”  
“Are you and Opie the only prospects?”  
“No. There’s another one. He graduated a few years ago. Tried the university thing. It didn’t work for him, so he came home.”  
“Can we make a rule that we just don’t talk about what you do for the club? I don’t want to know.”  
“Sure.”

By Jax’s birthday in April, we’re sleeping together and I’m spending every spare moment I have with Jax and Opie, either at the clubhouse or out for rides. On Jax’s birthday, we all go to a tattoo parlour so Jax and Opie can both get tattoos. Jax ends up getting a memorial tattoo for his Dad on his forearm and Opie gets a quote about anarchy along his collarbone. 

A few months later on my birthday, I go by myself to get a tattoo of a crow in flight on my lower back. When I see Jax the next night he notices the tattoo and says:  
“A crow?”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“Well, the guy I love is going to be SAMCRO, so…”  
“But you’re leaving.”  
“In over two years!”  
“Tattoos are forever, Tara.”  
“I might not go. I might stay. I haven’t decided yet.”  
“You were pretty certain before, babe. What changed?”  
“I love you. And you say you won’t come with me.”  
“Well, I’ll be happy if you stay.”  
“Yeah. I know. Let’s just not talk about it. It’s over two years away.”  
“Sure. We can not talk about it. How should we celebrate your birthday?”  
“Mini-golf, of course.”  
“With Opie and Donna?”  
“Sure.”


	5. Five

Over the summer, Jax and I are inseparable except when the club has him doing something. We still don’t talk about the club and what they have him doing, but more and more frequently he shows up with bruises and cuts he can’t…won’t…explain.

Once school starts it very quickly becomes apparent that I’m spending too much time with Jax and not enough on my schoolwork. I’ve always been a straight-A student who never missed class, but now my grades are Bs at best and I’m missing so much school that the guidance counsellor pulled me into her office one day in December.  
“Tara, I assume you have an idea of why you’re here.”  
“My grades?”  
“Those are definitely a concern, but so are the 15 classes you’ve missed this week alone. What is going on, Tara?”

I shrug and she sighs before saying:  
“I know your boyfriend dropped out last year. You aren’t thinking of doing the same, are you?”  
“No. I just don’t see the point to it all. I’d rather be with him than here.”  
“Tara, what do you want out of life? Do you want to be a SAMCRO old lady? Stuck in this town forever with a husband who could die or go to prison at any time?”  
“No.”  
“Then what do you want?”  
“I want to be a doctor.”  
“Then some changes need to be made. This year and next year are the ones that the universities look at. You need to keep your grades up and attend classes. How can I help facilitate that?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“How are things at home? How’s your Dad doing?”  
“He’s drinking again. He got fired from his job at the mill. Things aren’t great at home.”  
“Is that why you’ve been with Jax so much? Have you told him?”  
“It’s not the only reason I’m with him all the time. I love him. But there’s always food at his house. There’s no food at my house.”  
“Have you told Jax?”  
“No. I make excuses why he can’t come over. The last time it got bad some of the Sons talked to Dad, but I have a feeling that if they find out it’s happening again it won’t just be a talk.”

She nods and says:  
“You know I have to report this, right?”  
“I know.”  
“They are going to want to move you to a more stable home. Do you have relatives here?”  
“No. Dad has a cousin in San Diego, but she won’t take me in.”  
“That means a foster home, Tara.”  
“What if I get a job? I can pay the bills and feed myself. If I keep my grades up and come to class…Can you not report it? Just give me some time to fix it.”

She looks at me and sighs before saying:  
“I have a friend at the hospital. I can see about getting you a cleaning job. I will give it a month, but I want you in every single class and I want to see you twice a week.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Come back before first block tomorrow. I should have an answer for you about that job.”  
“Okay. Thank you.”  
“You’re welcome. Go to class, Tara.”

After school, I’m getting my books out of my locker when David walks up to me.  
“You have plans with Jax today?”  
“No. He said he had club stuff today.”  
“Want to come over? You can do your homework at my house and stay for dinner.”  
“You figured it out, huh?”  
“Jacob did. How long has it been?”  
“He lost his job a couple of weeks ago.”  
“When did you stop having groceries?”  
“A month ago.”  
“Why didn’t you come over?”  
“I didn’t want pity.”  
“It’s not pity, Tara. It’s friendship. Come on.”  
I close my locker and follow him out of the school and out to his car.  
“Why do you even have a car? We live three blocks away.”  
“You going to judge me or get in the damn car?”  
“Can’t I do both?”  
“Brat.”  
We get in the car and he drives past his house.  
“Where are we going?”  
“For ice cream.”  
“Are you buying?”  
“Of course.”  
“Then who am I to argue?”

When we get to the ice cream shop we sit at a booth and both pull out our homework while we eat our sundaes. I’m about half done with my ice cream when I hear motorcycles. I look out the window and see Jax, Opie, Kyle, and Chibs pull up and park outside.  
“Boyfriend incoming.”  
“Oh, goody. You want a coke?”  
“That’d be great, David. Thanks.”  
He gets up from the table as the guys walk in. Jax looks at me, then at David, and then back at me before saying:  
“Look, guys. My girlfriend is here with another guy.”  
I roll my eyes and say:  
“You said you had club crap. We’re doing homework.”  
He sits down next to me and takes a bite of my ice cream.  
“So him buying you ice cream and a coke doesn’t make this a date?”  
I just stare at him and blink slowly until he says:  
“You’re right. I’m being an idiot. Sorry, darlin’.”  
I lean over and kiss him before saying:  
“Go away.”  
“Can I come over tonight?”  
“What time?”  
“Late probably. We’re heading out of town.”  
“Fine. Let yourself in when you get there. I have an early meeting with the guidance counsellor though, so I need to sleep.”  
“Skip it.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Why not?”  
“Can we talk about this later?”  
“Yeah. I guess.”  
He kisses my cheek and says:  
“I’ll see you later babe.”  
“Yeah. Be safe.”  
He winks and says:  
“Always.”

Later that night I’m in bed and almost asleep when Jax comes in. He takes off his shoes and kutte before saying:  
“Can I go shower before coming to bed?”  
“Yup.”  
He leaves the room and when he comes back he wakes me up as he climbs into bed and pulls me into his arms.  
“Why do you have a meeting with the counsellor?”  
“She’s getting me a job.”  
“Why do you need a job?”  
“Dad’s drinking again. He got fired two weeks ago. We haven’t had food in the house for the past month. I need a job so I can pay the bills and buy food or my situation has to be reported and I’ll be put in foster care.”  
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Because it’s not your problem.”  
“But I could have helped.”  
“How? By getting club members to threaten Dad? By doing it yourself? How would you have helped?”  
“You could have moved in with us.”  
“I don’t want your pity.”  
“It’s not pity.”  
“I can take care of myself.”  
“But you don’t have to! I’m here. I love you. Why won’t you let me take care of you?”  
“Because I don’t need you to! I’m going to get a job, I’m going to get my grades back up, and I’m going to fix this myself.”  
“I can help. Just tell me how I can help.”  
“I can’t skip class anymore and I have to go to every shift at work. You need to not try to convince me to miss things, okay?”  
“You could just drop out.”  
“No.”  
“Why not? You said you might not leave.”  
“Jax. I want to have the option to go. If I drop out…This is it. This is my life. I’ll be trapped in this town, as an old lady…At least, until you get sick of me. I can’t just potentially derail my whole life.”  
“Trapped?”  
“You know what I mean, Jax! I want to be able to make that choice, not have it made for me.”  
“You’re leaving.”  
“I might be. After graduation.”  
He takes a deep breath and says:  
“Okay. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Rides to work and whatnot.”  
“Thank you, Jax. I love you, you know.”  
“Yeah. I love you too. Go to sleep, you have a meeting in the morning.”


	6. Six

For the next three months, I work my butt off. I get my grades back up, attend every class, and work long hours at the hospital to buy food and pay the mortgage and other bills. Jax spends most nights at my house, if he didn’t, we’d never see each other between my shifts and school and his club stuff. 

One weekend in January I get arrested for the first time. Jax and I were out walking in the park one night after a club party and we were both very drunk. One of Unser’s deputies arrested us and we spent the night in a holding cell.

In February, Jax was picking me up from school one day and when I walked up to him, one of the senior girls is hanging all over him. I calmly say:  
“Jax…you ready to go, love?”  
He smirks and says:  
“Of course.”  
He steps away from the girl and she says:  
“Jax…You can do better than her. Her daddy’s a drunk.”  
I scoff and say:  
“So…what? He’s better off with a junkie bitch like you?”  
Jax laughs and takes another step away from us as she launches herself at me. I roll my eyes as we hit the ground, but when she hits me I get pissed. I yank on her hair and punch her in the face to get her off of me. The fight continues until Unser and one of his deputies get there. We both get arrested for disorderly conduct and Jax follows us to the station to bring me home. 

While I’m in the cell I can hear Unser and Jax talking.  
“You need to let her go, Jackson.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“She’s better than this. Better than this town. Let her go.”  
“I love her.”  
“If that’s true, encourage her to leave after she graduates. She’s better than catfights over a guy in the hallway.”  
“I don’t want her to leave.”  
“I know, kid. But that girl has had a shitty life. If she doesn’t get out of here, it’s going to keep being shitty.”  
“Can you just let me take her home?”  
Unser sighs and says:  
“Yeah. Okay, son.”

As we’re walking out of the police station, Jax drapes his arm over my shoulders and says:  
“Remind me not to piss you off. I don’t want to be on the receiving end of your right hook.”  
“It’s not funny.”  
“It kind of is.”

Two days before Jax’s 18th birthday we both get arrested for possession of stolen goods. Jax used his one phone call to call Gemma and when Gemma and Clay get there to take us home, Clay smacks Jax upside the head and says:  
“You fucking moron. Stealing?”  
“I didn’t steal anything. Neither of us did.”  
“Then explain the arrest to me.”  
I speak up and say:  
“It’s my fault, Clay. I got into a fight with a girl in February and she’s been trying to get me back since. She works at the store we were at today. She slipped something in my bag and then called the cops and reported that Jax and I stole from the store.”  
Gemma shakes her head and says:  
“What a cunt.”

Leading up to my 16th birthday, Jax and Opie teach me how to drive. While I love Jax, I definitely prefer my lessons from Opie, he’s much more patient and doesn’t get as frustrated with me as Jax does.

As the school year ends I have multiple meetings with the school counsellor about my university choices and my class schedule for next year. During one of our meetings, she hands me applications for the University of California, San Diego like I’ve always planned, and for Stanford.   
“Stanford?”  
“Your GPA is high enough. It doesn’t hurt to apply, Tara.”  
“You really think I could get in?”  
“I think you don’t have a chance if you don’t apply.”  
“Okay. I’ll apply.”

She smiles and nods as she picks up a piece of paper and says:  
“Can we discuss your schedule next year?”  
“Sure. What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing, but…If we juggle things around a bit we can fit in all of the core classes you need to graduate and you could graduate next year.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes. Is that something you’d be interested in?”  
“Yes. What do I have to do?”  
“I will reconfigure your schedule and get you into the classes you need. Come back in tomorrow morning and we’ll go over it?”  
“Great. Thanks.”  
“Fill out those applications.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

Later that night when Jax gets to the house I’m filling out the application for Stanford. He looks at the paper as he walks in and says:  
“Stanford? Really?”  
“Apparently my GPA is high enough. The guidance counsellor told me I should apply.”  
“You’re applying for Fall ’97? That’s only next year. You don’t graduate until Spring ’98.”  
“I can graduate next Spring.”  
“How?”  
“Taking a couple of extra classes. It’ll be fine.”  
“So you’re leaving earlier than planned.”  
“I might be.”

I look up from my application and see the new patches on his kutte, so I put the application on my bedside table and stand up before running my fingers over the “Redwood” and “Original” patches.  
“You got patched in today.”  
“Yeah. We all did.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me the vote was today?”  
“I knew I was going to see you tonight.”  
“I would have been there, Jax.”  
“The vote was this morning. You were in class.”  
“How did you spend the rest of the day?”  
“We all got our reaper tattoos.”  
“Where?”  
“On my back.”  
“Can I see?”  
“Why are you asking? Are you not planning on taking my clothes off anyway?”

I smirk and shake my head before pushing his kutte off and pulling his shirt off.  
“Turn around.”  
I take in the giant back tattoo he now has, a replica of the back rocker on his kutte.   
“Do Opie and Kyle have this too?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Jesus. It’s huge.”  
He turns around and smirks at me before saying:  
“I’ll show you huge, baby.”  
I wrinkle my nose and raise an eyebrow before I say:  
“I’ve seen that before. It’s alright.”  
“Alright?! Darlin’…”  
I laugh as I lean in and kiss him while undoing his belt and pants. When we pull apart I say:  
“I love you.”


	7. Seven

Two weeks into my summer vacation I’m walking home from a shift at the hospital when I take a shortcut through the park where I first spoke to Jax. As I walk through I see him sitting on a swing with his head in his hands. I walk over to him and run my fingers through his hair. When he looks up at me I put my hand on his jaw and say:  
“Jax? What’s wrong?”  
“Just a rough day.”  
“Don’t lie to me, Jackson.”  
“You don’t want to hear about club stuff.”  
“You’re right. But when something happens that causes you to have this haunted look in your eyes…Honey, you have to tell me.”  
“We ran into a problem while we were out on club business today. I had to kill someone.”  
“Were they trying to kill you?”  
“Opie…he was trying to kill Opie.”  
“Did he succeed in killing Opie?”  
“No.”  
“Then you did what you had to do, love.”

He stares at me for a minute and then says:  
“I really didn’t expect you to take that so well.”  
“Would me freaking out right now help you?”  
“No. I guess not.”  
“Well then, I will continue to be calm. Come on, Jax. Let’s go home.”  
He drapes his arm over my shoulders and I wrap mine around his waist as he says:  
“Let’s go for a ride instead.”  
“Can we go home so I can shower and change first? I smell like the hospital.”  
“Yeah, we can.”

At home, I shower, change, and put together a picnic while Jax gets a couple of blankets and books. We put everything into my backpack and leave the house. As we’re getting on the bike I say:  
“So where are we going?”  
“It’s a surprise.”  
I sigh and glare at him before I get on the bike.  
“No complaints? I’m shocked.”  
“Shut up and drive, biker boy.”  
When he parks the bike we’re at a roadside park. We walk down a path from the parking lot to a grassy area next to a stream and lay out one of the blankets. I lay down on the blanket on my back with my book and Jax lays down with his head on my stomach. We read for a bit and every so often he runs his fingers along my thigh or I run mine through his hair. 

After a while he says:  
“Tara?”  
“Yeah, babe?”  
“Marry me.”  
“Jax…”   
“Not right now, obviously. After you graduate.”

I start running my fingers through his hair, lightly tugging on the ends as I say:  
“Jax…no, sweetheart. Of course, no. I love you, but…I’m leaving, babe.”  
“Last I heard you weren’t sure if you were going.”  
“I’m still not completely sure, but Jax…”  
“You don’t want to marry me.”  
“I am 16-years-old, Jax. No. I don’t want to get married.”

He sits up and says:  
“Fine.”  
I sit up and move around him so I can straddle his lap before tucking his hair behind his ears and putting my hands on his jaw.  
“Listen to me, Jax. I love you, so much. But baby, I have to go. I want a future that’s more than being your old lady. That’s not an issue with you. I would happily spend the rest of my life with you…I just…can’t be here. I need more than Charming can give me.”  
“Yeah…I know. I just…”  
“You’re reacting to what happened today.”  
“Yeah.”  
I lean down and kiss him before saying:  
“Let’s eat our dinner and go home.”

After spending the summer together whenever we aren’t working, school starts again and I have a full course load plus my shifts at the hospital, so we don’t see each other often. Jax still spends most nights at my house and occasionally our schedules line up well enough for us to take a couple of hours and go to a park to read. 

On one of those rare days when we have extra time, the responses to my university applications arrive. Instead of going to the park, we sit on my bed and he gently runs his fingers along my thighs as I open the envelopes.  
“So? Don’t keep me in suspense, Tara.”  
“I got in.”  
“To both?”  
“Yeah.”  
“So what are you going to do?”

I shrug and keep reading the paperwork.  
“UC San Diego is offering me a partial scholarship and my dad’s cousin lives there, so I’d have somewhere to live for free.”  
“And Stanford?”  
“No scholarship and I’ve heard it’s expensive to live near there.”  
“You could commute.”  
“It’s over an hour and a half each way. That’s not feasible.”  
“So UC San Diego, then?”  
“Yeah. UC San Diego.”

We spend the rest of the school year like normal. Work, school, club, and time spent together when we can. The day I graduate Jax, Opie, Kyle, Gemma, and Clay are all in the audience…My Dad isn’t. 

During the summer after graduation, Jax and I are practically inseparable, with him helping me pack for my move in between club business. The day before I’m supposed to leave I pack all of my things into my car and go to Jax’s house to spend the night.

As Jax and I climb into bed I curl into him and rest my head on his chest.  
“I’m going to miss you.”  
“You don’t have to go, Tara. Stay with me.”  
“You know I can’t, Jax.”  
“I love you.”  
“And I love you. You know I do. But, Jax…I need to go.”  
“Yeah. I know.”

Early the next morning, before Jax wakes up, I carefully climb out of bed and quietly get dressed before leaving the room. I think I’m going to get out of the house without running into anyone, but Gemma is sitting at the kitchen table.  
“Leaving without saying goodbye?”  
“I can’t, Gemma. I won’t be able to leave, and I need to leave.”  
“You do what you need to do, Tara. But if you walk out that door right now, don’t come back. You leaving is going to break my son. You are not welcome back here.”  
“Yes, ma’am. Goodbye, Gemma.”  
I walk out the door and get in the car, driving off without looking back.


End file.
